“I’ve been getting by without that just fine, I don’t need it.’
“I just need to pick myself up by my bootstraps and keep enduring to get by.”
Do either of these sayings sound familiar?
When it feels that a source of care will let us down, hurt us or not be reliable / consistent, this can cause us to be too self-reliant.
This, then, causes us to self-sabotage and only let in so much care.
If you struggle with knowing what your needs actually are…
Every hour check in with yourself. Ask yourself : are you hungry?, what sounds good?, what looks good?, what would you eat if you were going to? We can make assumptions or interpretations of what our needs ‘should’ be rather than what they actually are. This causes us to not trust ourselves. This activity will be a truth test for what your needs are. Don’t follow someone else’s belief of who you are and what you need.
Another idea is to find one thing (an author, a Facebook group, my videos) that hasn’t ever done you any harm and is relatively safe enough and that you’ve had a good experience with. Let this be an anchor for you that you can hold on to, go to and get hope from if you need to pull on someone else’s hope.
If you would like a community of others to walk this journey with, I invite you to check out the Peaceful Eating Community.
If you would like to get started and/or find 1:1 help, please reach out via www.tracybrownrd.com/get-started/