Those things are are true, but what I have found that is the REAL healing is being present to the relationship.
The relationship to food is explored until every food and morsel is understood. What is their favorite, what is “good enough”, what food doesn’t work and when. What foods have a history of being connected to love, comfort, soothing, anxiety and anger.
We look at the relationship and beliefs about embodiment. Is it okay to be present and willing to give ourselves full access to satisfying food and movement (to the full measure we have access to it)? If not, what prevents that?
We come to fully understand the fears around weight, fears of gaining or losing weight, fears of letting go of bonding with others over body dissatisfaction, fears of being on your own path when it feels like the world won’t accept us if we like our body at whatever weight we are. We give space for all that to be seen, so then we can envision it being another way and make that a reality.
I am reminded of my second session 17 years ago with my nutrition therapist. It was pretty clear to me that I needed to eat more based on my food obsession and rigidity. Instead of telling me “Eat more” it was “what is it like to not eat what you want or as much as you might want”? Just by that openness, I could admit that it was a struggle to not be free in this way and I wanted this. The next question was, “What would feel safe to you if you were to eat more”? and I admitted that the only carbohydrates I didn’t feel too bad about at the time were these clover leaf dinner rolls but I would only allow one per day. She then said, “What would happen if it were okay to eat 3 per day?” Because of my inability to see the big picture at the time, it never seemed like an option. But because she acknowledged that it felt safe for me to eat them and that I did want to eat more but didn’t know how to make it safe, this question gave me permission to consider it without being “told what to do”. She saw my fear, made it okay and it allowed me to take a risk.
This is what good nutrition therapy and coaching to heal your relationship with food looks like: being seen and heard.
If you have more questions about how you can be seen or heard where you need some healing with food or body image concerns, give us a call at 352-258-8220. I would love to hear more!
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