During these times,
It might seem like the best thing to do is be hypperproductive. Get fitter. Bake. Organize everything. Pace back and forth. Eat, not eat.
And some of that might be okay some of the time. Not the “get fitter” part. I know that is code language for trying to earn safety when we don’t feel that way inside by focusing on the outside of the body.
But changing your body is not going to change these weird times of uncertainty.
You might think or assume ( and you might be right) that more people are out there walking to deal with their feelings in a non-helpful way. But they are not your competition. You aren’t going to lose something if someone is thinner than you.
You will just be joining the gang of ” I can’t go inside/be inside myself, it’s too much/dangerous”. And you don’t have to do that anymore.
You can reach for support, your old meal plan, make a new one, say f it and eat as much or when or what you want. You can’t screw it up. All you will do is learn about your needs, wants and that you aren’t bottomless.
By withholding care from yourself, it recapitulates the abandonment of not getting needs met and you are not here reading this now for that.
You might have a part of yourself repeating old diatribes about how your body is too big, fat phobic culture is dangerous to be in and why would I want to be in it so I deserve body bashing and not eating what I want.
And when you hear that know, that is just a strategy trying to keep you safe. But no one benefits. And you don’t get safety or a chance for more options.
So what I am saying is. Stop a second. Look around you for what you can orient to that is okay.
Look inside for why you even are reading pieces like this in the first place.
You are here for freedom. Even if you can’t do everything you want to do right now. That doesn’t mean you don’t have choices.
And for a little more support, check out this tool to slow your autopilot restrict/binge/body bash yourself.