Image courtesy of Janaka Dharmasena at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Making the decision to free yourself from disordered eating, weight preoccupation is a truly courageous decision.  Everyone I talk to has had to face the decision, if they want to heal, to put aside manipulating food intake to trust their body.  The food part is not the hardest decision.  It’s letting go of hating or being fearful of what will happen to their body if they decide to let go of the chaos that using food to cope can cause.

The truth is that Attuned Eating is a weight neutral process.  

When a client comes to me and has been told by others or for the first time by me that their weight is below their natural set point, I don’t have an agenda.  I am not prejudice against people who are thin.  I am not trying to make them “fat”, which is often their worst fear.

I desire for them to be free.  And being trapped in a body that is starved smaller than it can be to flourish and share light and love is a horrible loss to this world.  I provide hope that if they gain weight to be independent and empowered, it will be worth what feels like losing control to really be in charge.

A client who comes to me in a body that is larger than they would like, especially if the body is much larger than the western cultural message of being acceptable, might expect me to encourage weight loss.  I never have nor never will.  As a human being, it seems  condescending to tell another person they should not meet their basic needs.  As a professional, research shows that people who restrict their food intake to lose weight and do, will gain it back within 2-5 years 95% of the time.  That seems like bad healthcare and polluted policy to encourage the practice.  Would you go through with a surgery that has a 95% chance of failure?

I fully believe in the body’s ability to get to a natural weight that is right for it.  With Attuned Eating, that might mean this person rebounds then slowly goes down.  This may mean a person loses consistently but never gets down to where a person might dream they could be happy.  However, I hold the space of possibility that you could be happy with a larger body and will encourage freedom.  I am not against weight loss per se, but weight loss that the body doesn’t feel threatened into starvation by, which will cause food obsession, emotional upheaval, social isolation and malnutrition.

I prefer to be truthful and loving in guiding those who have trusted me with their story and their desires to be free from eating disorders and weight concerns.   You are ultimately free to decide how to live your life with food and your body.  I firmly believe that with self-care, patience, effort and faith and having less agenda about the size of your body and more agenda about if you put your gifts and energy into desires and priorities in life, you will end up caring less about how much you weigh.

With less agenda around your weight, you will have the freedom to use the energy you put into starving, stuffing and agonizing about food, exercise and weight to build the confidence, power and a presence that people can’t ignore.

I am not supposed to want your freedom more than you.  I just want you to know that I have no agenda about your weight.  If anyone else does (people think you should weigh less) consider that they don’t know that restricting can’t bring you lasting weight loss, peace or self-worth.  And if you are under a weight that you can flourish at, it is only said because of the smallness of your life depicted from your food, which is a tragedy.

Towards your peacefulness with food and weight,