If I ate a food I felt guilty about, I never considered that it wasn’t about food. It was really about feeling bad that if I were somehow able to have the “right body”, or eat in a way that someone “else” said would be better, I could be above any criticism and therefore, be worthy and love-able.
Now I teach, and live by, that shame doesn’t have to be so bad. Yes, it is painful (under-statement). If I can catch it in my life and and my clients can catch it before it turns into a self-loathing story of, I am bad, stupid awful that I coudn’t catch my ED thoughts, etc before it turned into a behavior, than that is amazing!
What that means is that at the beginning, noticing your shame around food and body image gives you a chance to look at your food rules with a curious, loving voice. The diet voice says, “You don’t need that” and at first you may feel a wave of shame or guilt. However, then, you get an opportunity to say, “Wait, who says I don’t need that” and work your way around to lesson the judgement, find out the truth about the food or the body comment and get to the story underneath the food and body shame.
Shame can feel like an everyday occurrence. But, learning to not run or hate myself more for it, I (and you) can learn to see the message in it.
And just for extra support, I thought you might like this video. So powerful! Would love to hear about what you think of this note and the video!