I hope today finds you well. In the US, we just had our Thanksgiving day and I hope yours was peaceful and better than last year when it came to food.
If you are needing help with making any further holiday meals less stressful and want to feel confident and not lost on what to do, please connect with me http://bit.ly/tracybclaritycall.
I did a podcast a couple of weeks ago introducing the idea of Attuned Eating where I discussed the power of being your own inner food expert and I also some grounding work to make listening to your body easier. Who doesn’t want this process to be easier right?
Something that came up that was really interesting is that the host brought up her own struggles with adjusting to her aging body. It seemed like she was coming to peace with the fact that regardless of what she did, she just wasn’t as “firm” as she used to be with the same exercise, etc.
But isn’t that actually how all of life is?
We have some periods of “same-ness” with our bodies if we are free from dieting and the binging that comes with it. But even in people who have never had an eating disorder or diet trauma and the yo-yo’s that come with that, we can look back and realize, of course our bodies have been changing.
We are born and grow quickly, then stabilize for a bit prior to puberty. From ages 10ish to 16-18, we potentially gain height and 50lbs at least to accomodate growing into our adult bodies, and even after that I see in clients there is a rounding out in the early twenties.
Then as we are in the child-bearing times for most people, bodies change depending on stressors, accesss to food, pregnancies and there might be a period where we don’t change much again depending on the length between pregnancies if there are any.
Before we know it bodies can shift again, maybe not in weight but in proportion into our late 30’s through the remainder of our years. It is also normal to weigh more during the transition years of the 50/60’s as protection from illness.
Does that mean we are always gaining weight? Of course not.
But we do change, even slightly, and the idea that this doesn’t or shouldn’t be happening is a huge myth created by modern diet culture that has disembodied and eroded body trust for generations.
But I am here for you and to remind you that I get it. It’s hard to break up with the mindset that we have much say under attuned measures to change this.
Sure, you can fight and over-exercise and under-nourish yourself but then it turns into your time truly not being your own and your body into an idol, not what I know you sensitives who follow me are about.
So how to we accept change?
Maybe we just start by feeling the grief of not using control as a tool to push away fear, shame or anger anymore.
Then we dip our toe into the idea of acceptance that we ARE supposed to change. That’s not saying that we don’t care for the bodies we have. We feel so much better when we do. I’m saying we break up with hating them for not being what we’ve been taught we should try to be to earn a meager portion of being told, “Now you are strong/loveable/worthy”.
It’s a total shame and a sham.
There are many more ways to accept change but for today I will leave you with these:
1) Grieve that you can’t have it both ways: a freer life and using control to be less without consequences
2) Acceptance that we were made to believe devoting most of your time to thinking about food or weight is good and it ACTUALLY was a cruel plan to disembody you and that you ought to be mad about that!
3) Consider that weighing more is not the worst thing ever or that could ever happen to you.
4) That there are no exceptions. All bodies are worthy of respect. If you believe that being body positive is for everyone else but you, there is a part of you that is still afraid that you will lose something if you let the self-hate go: protection, safety, something you are good at?
Lots to think about. Tell me what you think and what you feel you need to take in just one little molecule more of this?
Enjoy the podcast and reach out if going it alone is not leading to the pace of reconcilliation with your body you want.