To this day, I still run up upon situations, thankfully not too many, where fear is holding me back from what I want. However, I have the benefit my experiences of letting go of bad body image and food obsession to know that waiting for a the right time to take risks never happens. The only way we move forward is by actually “experimenting” with new foods we haven’t had in a while, eating past binge foods in safe circumstances, taking breaks from compulsitory exercise, not body bashing in the mirror, etc.
The question is, what is causing your suffering right now?
–Is it fear to order something besides a salad because you believe others will judge you?
–Is it not going to the beach because you are afraid of others believing and commenting on what you believe about yourself; that you shouldn’t be there because you think you are not thin/lean/tan/toned enough?
–Is it the constant cycle of all or nothing with food that is causing you to go from hopeful “control” to resentment when you can’t maintain restricting yourself?
My suggestion to you is this: What could compassion and non-judgement offer these moments of suffering?
–Maybe no one cares what I am eating right now. And if they really did care or believe that I should only be eating salad, what does that say about them? They are not in my body and cannot know what my body needs. It is hurtful that they might have that judgement but I don’t have to buy into that; it is their suffering projected onto me.
–Who says I have to smaller/leaner/more tan to enjoy the breath-taking beauty of the ocean and beach? It gives me such pleasure and solace to be here. I cannot let my fear about others’ value judgement around body size prevent me from this self-care. And anyway, how many seconds could they really be thinking about me?
–It feels tedious and energy and life-sucking to not eat the food I need for life-enhancement and pleasure. And remember, every time I eat less because I think I messed up, the under-eating actually CAUSES the the emotional and deprivation-driven eating! Even thinking about dieting or restricting makes me more prone to binging!
It is difficult to have compassion and challenge the diet thoughts. However the temporary discomfort of taking risks with new, more compassionate thoughts and behaviors regarding weight and food beats the suffering, restricting and stuffing that you have known.
Please comment below and let us know what risks you have takes with food, exercise and being nicer to your body that have helped you released your suffering. What aspects of relationship with food and weight concerns would you like to ease the suffering in?