Another year is here, and I see us all with a mix of hope and desire to let go of what doesn’t serve, though we might be used to what isn’t working.
Maybe that means you would like to eat and cook consistently; no more with-holding.
Or eat from satisfaction versus eat to past fullness regularly.
And wanting to not be mad at your body for weighing what it weighs, but finding disgust and hate is what feels normal.
I am here to offer you a suggestion and a gift to help you create some space between worrying about weight, blaming yourself and having a CHOICE this year
The gift of self-forgiveness.
Forgiveness for every diet.
For body bashing.
For ignoring our body’s needs for the food, rest, play, movement and connection it needs.
Why is it hard to allow the above?
Because something thwarted our trust in ourselves.
Below I have shared and adapted from the book “8 keys to safe trauma recovery” Babette Rothschild to help us make more sense of how we might bring more compassion to our food and body image healing.
(Babette’s work is below; my adaptation in bold)
Forgive Your Limitations for Believing Something Was Ever Wrong with Your Body
- You were not old, big, or strong enough, or you were outnumbered. To disagree that there was any bad food or wrong bodies.
- You did not have the help you needed. When you or others were weight bullied.
- Someone made a mistake. They didn’t know taking you to weight watchers at 10 or not telling you that you don’t have to prove your worth through your body
- It was an unpreventable act of nature. Bodies naturally come in all sizes.
- There was no alert or warning. Bodies change for all kinds of reasons that we do not always have any say over.
- You did not have the legal rights necessary. You could not leave dieting or unsupportive caregivers as a kid. You can choose now.
- You were in the wrong place at the wrong time. It’s never right to have to witness or be the focus of body judgements.
- You were lied to, threatened, or coerced. You were not too big/much/sensitive.
- You did not have adequate or correct information or training. And neither did your relative/coach/doctor/friends; they were and are not now your body experts.
- You froze, dissociated, or “went dead.” You may have gone along with dieting or body hatred because that was the easiest way to get along.
Friends, I encourage you today to forgive yourself for going along with diet culture. I know for myself, as a 16-year-old, I had no idea going on that calorie counting regimen would spiral me into 2 years of anorexic and 5 years into binge eating and exercise addiction hell.
It’s hard to know if I had known better if I would have agreed to all that trying to achieve a smaller a body would require. And all the carnage and collateral missing out that I would endure.
But now, this first day of a new year and decade, we can stay awake. And have compassion for ourselves and what we couldn’t do and didn’t know. We know now. And have a choice.
If you need help in recovered, safe relationship to learn how to have choice and peace with food and embodying the kind of person you really are with your family, children and those who you are meant to impact, then reach out to me at www.tracybrownrd.com/get-started and let’s chat where you feel like your choices for full diet trauma recovery are stuck.
Much peace with food and body this year and always,
PS: If you are looking for more support,
1) Enjoy these free case studies with tips how to have freedom from food and weight worries: http://bit.ly/2IfVZp2bodypeace
2) Put to use today these action resources to help you learn about eat without being obsessed or on a diet or worrying about your weight: www.tracybrownrd.com/free-gifts
3) Introduce yourself here: https://www.tracybrownrd.com/get-started. I love hearing from people about where you've come from and what your dreams are for full freedom from weight and food worries.