I hope if you celebrated US Thanksgiving that it was a peaceful one and that you had some successes with self care, boundaries and of course, eating in an attuned way with your preferences and body signals.
That being said, I imagine many of you might be worried about weight gain this season. It seems like some of that worry is a cultural narrative. I hear people that don’t talk much about food the rest of the year make comments like, ” I better save up for dessert because there will be 10 available”.
It doesn’t have to be that way. Before we talk about a different solution, let me circle back to this whole fear about weight.
The truth is, our body, as many of you have also heard me talk about , has a set point range that it does it’s all to defend because below that, it is afraid we will die.
It’s the reason all those side effects happen, like obsessiveness, lack of focus, counting, feeling on edge (that’s after the honeymoon period wears off), changes in digestion, loss of interest in other thing and so many more.
Regardless of weight, the above happens to all people of all sizes the longer the food restriction goes on.
So it is not your fault.
It is not your fault if your body changes to adjust to PREVENT all that from happening again to you. Your body might gain.
It might gain temporarily.
It might gain in a different distribution than you are used to protect your organs.
It might gain permanently because you haven’t ever let your body be it’s grown up weight.
It might gain to and hang on for months or even a year or two to watch to see if you restrict again.
You might weigh more than you ever have and stay there. This might be for many reasons ranging from hormonal to age to it just flat out where your body wants to be. That is more than okay.
What or however it happens, it is happening for your good. To heal and nourish, no matter what size you are.
Your body doesn’t care that we live in a fat phobic world that uses weight as a weapon to control how people should feel about themselves. It’s doing what it’s meant to do. Keep you alive and strives to thrive.
So if you are afraid of weight gain, hear me here.
Recovery and Intuitive Eating aren’t lifestyle plans.
This is your life. I am not messing around here with your freedom. I am not wishy washy on this subject. We are not supposed to all look the same, there is no better, hotter, more valuable size or shape to be. Thin is not a buffer from life being without pain or being in bigger body does not prohibit being content.
No one thrives wearing weight-centric filmed glasses. All we see is better/worse than, fear and contempt.
It is time to take those blinders off and see that life as so much more for you without the burden of worrying about your weight.
We sometimes have to accept that what is TRUTH isn’t easy and what we want to do, even if we want to be okay with it.
You don’t have to love it that your body needs and wants to weigh more than you think is okay.
Your job, and I am happy to help you navigate this road, is to slow down, one meal and body need at a time, and be present to that truth.
If that truth leads to body change, you can rest in knowing that you aren’t wondering or guessing if your body should weigh what it weighs.
You know because you have spent so much time with yourself that you trust your body, even if parts of you don’t like that you wont get accolades for trying to lose weight or be smaller anymore. Or that you can’t rely on food restriction as your main comfortor or strategy for coping.
But that’s okay because at the same time as you allow your body to be nourished and do what is right for it, you will be learning what you need to feel safe and more confident on the whole.
You get your comfort and inner solidness from knowing you are free and you can trust yourself.
So it is normal to be afraid. We are taught we are supposed to be.
But this holiday season and I pray for the rest of your life, you remember this,
It’s okay to weigh more.
Your worth, value and love-ability aren’t dependent on your size, regardless of what your head or the world is saying.
Eat what you want, what your body and soul need and trust that your body knows how to get you where you need to be if you slow down. If you are struggling with this, consider joining me for Attuned Eating for Attuned Living.
In it we cover, how to slow down to know if you are getting enough or how to slow down to know if you are over-eating out of fear or rebellion as well as working through and making peace with what you think you are holding on to controlling your weight.
This course includes 12 weeks of materials through intuitive eating, body image healing and feeling more solid and less stressed in your body plus a fb group where I give extra tips and promote connection as well as a 1 x a week group coaching session.
Because my birthday is today, the 28th, I am celebrating 22 years since I started down this road myself and offering this intensive for $22/month for the next year of support feels nourishing for me to offer and I hope what might fill you as well.
I hope you find this message, even if provocative, soothing to the part of you that is just done. Over worrying about this and ready what I am so, so grateful to experience every day.
All my care,
PS: OH and remember, you get to eat dessert as you wish. For breakfast or 3 times a day. Your body will tell you when you’ve had enough.
PSS: If that scares you for me to say this, watch the video for a little more reasurance……