Hello!
A reader/watcher of our blog/videos here asked about fear of hunger and boy, did it take me back to year 2-3 of recovery.
I definitely was in a no going back place in recovery, (even though my pride and fear would have liked my body to look different; that is another video!). I wasn’t going to allow myself to go full on back into the eating disorder.
However, because of needing to do more work regarding my beliefs about my worth/value to others related to weight, believing that I no one could fully meet my food/care needs other than me as an adult was not fully on my radar of importance yet. I was still kinda letting life happen with food sometimes and I was not equipped to handle the emotional fall out from that.
One result was getting to hunger levels that felt too much that I was not trying to accomplish. It was more like they snuck up on me, then would get upset if I could not get that need met immediately or in a way that I wanted.
After a time of existential angst, I could see that these moments of not preparing or giving full permission to eat, thinking I could still get by with less but not like the past, more disordered days of less. I am sure some of you can relate to the denial/delusion aspect of disordered eating that likes to say, “You aren’t emaciated / It’s not as bad as it used to be / No one seems to think how I act or think about food or body is that big a deal/ They do it too”.
So yeah, that was happening.
I bet you all can see where I am going here.
If you step back, can you see how scary those phrases coupled with being unprepared or unwilling to eat could trigger fear the body and mind into reacting like “oh no, here we go again. Going hours without food or what we need”.
Friends, it sounds like diet trauma to me.
Watch here as I give a few more examples and what can help.
Be kind. Don’t scare your body into thinking you don’t have its back!
Warmly,
Tracy and team
www.tracybrownrd.com/get-started
