How are our fear and judgements around food and ourselves connected to how we were programmed through diet culture? Let’s talk about it a brilliant people pleasing strategy and coupling dynamics.
When We Take on Others Judgements and Fear
If you were never stood up for when you were young, you often don’t have the confidence, courage or even the skills to stand up for yourself as an adult.
This can cause us to do one of the most brilliant people pleasing strategies I have ever seen – where WE begin to speak the perceived or real judgements of others.
What does this look like?
Judging ourselves so that other people see that we know that we’re “gross and wrong and bad”.
It’s a way to get people off our back.
We then feel that if don’t do this, then others have extra reason to make comments and point things out.
We’re placating others by coming into agreement with the things they say.
Coupling dynamics is where there are 2 or more areas of our life that are overlapped. Where there is too much of one and not enough of the other.
In the example I give in the video below, I discuss how our food, movement and judgements become over-coupled.
It’s the idea that you must perform or be productive in some way for external sources in order to receive validation. It’s only then that you can engage in play or things you desire.
The reality is is that your self-worth and ability to enjoy life has nothing to do with your ability to perform or produce something.
Dive deeper into these two topics in the videos below.