We should all be allowed to eat what we want, when we want, wherever we want.
The unfortunate truth is that for many dealing with trauma and rejection, we are hyper-vigilant of avoiding situations where we might find ourselves being judged or rejected.
Why we Don’t Eat in ‘Full View’
For some, not being able to eat in ‘full view’ comes from their ‘diet voice’ being projected onto other people. In their minds, the judgements they think about ourselves become the judgements from others. These may, or may not actually be what other people are thinking.
Here are 3 ways hyper-vigilance places out to where we are not able to eat in full view:
- We’re afraid of other people’s judgements (real or perceived as mentioned above)
- Our threat response is so high that we struggle to even open our mouth to receive the food (this can happen in public places or when we’re eating by ourselves)
- We restrict and make choices in front of others that cause us to binge or purge in secret
How to get to the Place of Eating in ‘Full-View’
- Determine in your heart that you are willing to put in the work to get to the place of, ‘I’m eating my food and it doesn’t matter what others say or think. That doesn’t have anything to do with me.’
- You have to practice. If you want to get better at something, at some point you actually have to do that thing. A great place to start is to write out the scenario of what you think is going to happen. Write it out, read it and then determine what is actually the truth.
- Be at home and present with. yourself while you’re eating. If you struggle to eat by yourself, think about where do you still judge yourself for the food decisions that you make. If you decide that you want both the spaghetti and the garlic bread, but the narrative you know is that’s too many carbs, who’s judging you for making the decision to eat both the spaghetti and the garlic bread.
- Be present with what you’re eating while being in public with others. This is the same as above. Maybe you need to start with eating at home and work your way towards eating in public.
Remember, at the end of the day, we cannot know too much about someone based on their appearance. This goes for you when you experience other people’s judgements, as well as, those who are doing the judging. They can’t know why we make the decisions that we do and we can’t know why they say and do the things they do.