Doesn’t the title say it all?
The confusion of what it means to stop dieting or compulsive eating and not be as body conscious means how are we supposed to feel about our bodies?
Hi friends. Tracy here and I love chatting about this topic with you because it is an exercise in finding your own comfort zone.
Which means I don’t have any answers for you about how you are supposed to feel or want.
But I am happy to share some stories for you about what others have done to navigate having a body in this world.
And today, we won’t be talking about the vital navigation of feeling safe enough “out there” to feel safe “inside”, which is a critical part of having space and feeling relief that there is a “relative safe enough” place for us.
But actually talk about what we rarely do: appearance.
Before I dive into some questions that I often get such as, “Is it okay to like how I look?” or the opposite, “If I am closer to the cultural ideal do I hide this or “tone it down?”, l want to share the evolution of visual media of body positivity and how it has changed and even confused some people’s goals of peace with weight and body image.
When I was personally working through first my own fat phobia around 1996, I had a lot of shame for having it. Morally I knew it was wrong to think this way but didn’t know how to shake it.
I didn’t have any role models and not until my epiphany in 1999, did I have what it felt like to scales to fall from my eyes about what is seen as valuable, loveable or attractive.
The epiphany was this. People in all shapes and size are doing life. Short, tall, large and small and all colors and abilities are buying groceries, trying to take care of themselves, kids, elders, their work, other people — and their bodies do that. And those who can’t take care of themselves have bodies that have hearts and minds and organs that do that too.
And all of these people had some sort of relationship with someone, even if it was just with the nursing that took care of them or the person who gave them a paycheck at the grocery store.
So that means that ALL people have some kind of role here. And to think that the bodies people come in are wrong is just the result of hurt people who need a way to change something inside themselves at the expense of others.
And I just couldn’t buy into that anymore. And I can’t buy into that someone else gets to decide what is “attractive” just because they have a platform to do so and ESPECIALLY coming from an ugly or hurt place inside of them.
I understand that your hurt just doesn’t disappear from this little thought-stream. But what if it was the rekindling of a desire to not abandon the hurt parts of you anymore and start with “nope, I don’t love my body but I won’t hate it because I was told to or told my body was wrong and the urge to hate it is because that was my go to to deal with my past”.
Another thought is to look to people who look like you and how have they done it. Not with envy but with, there are no people worse or better, just people who got relentless to “get there”.
One of my favorite voices in this “making peace with our image” role-models is Vivian McMaster at http://www.viviennemcmasterphotography.com/about/ , who also happens to be a guest expert in Attuned Eating for Attuned Living
I also talk here about being “HUNGRY” for compassion for all your body has been through and to let go of the the desire to suppress wanting to accepted and instead focus on un-shaming yourself.
Finally I leave you with this.
There is nothing wrong with liking what you look like. But too many people wait til they are closer to the current societal version of beauty to do “have that” Your contentment actually with your body will come from not having that standard anymore.
Tweet from @fatgirlfreedom:
“body positivity is NOT just looking in the mirror and saying “yeah I love you.” IT’S IS A MOVEMENT THAT HELPS TO DISMANTLE THE SYSTEMIC OPPRESSION OF MARGINALIZED BODIES… which was started by fat acceptance advocates.”
Til next time friends,
Have you gotten my latest free tool to help you deal with the “stuff” that comes up when you aren’t restricting or binging and you feel like you wanna come out of your skin? https://www.tracybrownrd.com/in-your-skin-optin/
PSS: And if you don’t already, learning to decode “I feel fat” is game-changer in your relationship with food and body. Learn more here: http://casestudies.tracybrownrd.com/1-landing-page
To get started with Attuned Eating, get your free guide at https://tracybrownrd.lpages.co/opt-in/
To set up a free clarity call now schedule at http://meetme.so/TracyBrown
PS: If you are looking for more support,
1) Enjoy these free case studies with tips how to have freedom from food and weight worries: http://bit.ly/2IfVZp2bodypeace
2) Put to use today these action resources to help you learn about eat without being obsessed or on a diet or worrying about your weight: www.tracybrownrd.com/free-gifts
3) Introduce yourself here: https://www.tracybrownrd.com/get-started. I love hearing from people about where you've come from and what your dreams are for full freedom from weight and food worries.