Hello Dear hearts,

We know that toxicity well.

The body seizing up.

The eye-balling other’s plate for who ate more .

And I imagine you know that we don’t really know anything about anybody else’s health via a visual or what’s on their plate this very second.

But we have been conditioned to think this way.

And if you’re like me way back, I would do those things and feel guilty, whether I deemed I was the “good one or the wrong one” and add another dollop of shame to the stew.

I am so glad you are here reading this and like me too, woken from the sleep of feeling like worth and loveability are connected to weight or food.

It’s a life saver emotionally.  You get time, sanity, experiences, relationship back in your life.

I want to add another layer to this as many of you may or may not know that I coach on trauma integrated recovery.  Which means our minds might know better that a person is being kind to us, let’s say, but our bodies can’t totally register that kindness, but instead scan for what might be wrong, make meaning where there is no threat.

What this means is this:

Compare and despair impacts us physically.

When we compare, our beliefs can take us two different ways.

If we have food and body value-judgments (and if you’re here to undo that, yahoo!), we are more likely to go into:

1) Compete mode which neurobiologically cranks up our critical-ness to self and others

2) Which then feel like possible threat and turns on our sympathetic nervous system response.

3) Which can impact our hunger and fullness and depending on our patterns, have us dampen hunger or feeling the “up-ness” and eat past fullness.  Or our minds creates guidelines to manage the sensations of buzzy-ness in our bellies, chests or minds.

4) That if we judge the eating or listen to the seaming “solution” to the sensation, we get in a cycle and rely on it for as close as we can get to feeling okay.

5) Which will eventually lead to a time of numbness and disconnection

Or we can learn to lean on compassion:

1)  which creates connection

2) Feeling wanted

3) Learning

4) Thriving and more potential for health

So that’s the power of compassion in the midst of comparing.

If it seems like you’re spinning in that cycle of of fear/disconnection and heavy/numb with your eating and self care, connect with me to see how to get out of the cycle:


It’s time to uncouple the fear and hurt from food and body.

Tell me below, how often do you catch the cycle and what helps you lean more towards what brings safety and peace?

I see you,