It's about the hunger for love we long for but don't have the wiring to always let ourselves have yet.
This lack can keep us looping for years in diet and disordered thoughts and being on and off diets for decades.
It can keep us hanging on to the belief that a certain body holds the key to health, attractiveness, safety and belonging.
Let me share with you something first before we talk how we are going to solve attunement hunger.
I was humbled to my core when one of my client's told me a story.
She gently shared how, when she was being criticized by someone she cared about, she paused. Her impulse was to internalize and engage in defending herself. With her compassionate heart, she saw the pain in the other's behavior.
She paused again, this time with fear of rejection if she reached out.
You know what she did?
She hugged the person who lashed out in their pain at her. And they softened. And the internal fight ended. And the external warfare of trying to dominate the tender feelings was avoided.
Here comes the sad part, and maybe you can relate.
My client can't often give this to herself fully...yet. Not with food or her fear of what people will think if she is not the ideal.
She can do it for others.
But when she binges, she has let shame caused by a world that doesn't understand the function of dieting and then naturally eating more harden her natural loving heart.
As you do, she knows that idolizing a thin body causes fear of the opposite, perpetuating lack of attunement to the very body we are privilidged to have.
That one might be hard to accept. Having a body that you don't like or fear is a privilidge?
But real love like that doesn't make much sense.
Attunement to our needs and and honoring them and the body we have doesn't make sense in a world that wants more, faster, younger, thinner, "perfect", now.
A world that dislikes patience, joy and faith in what is... and for our discussion, our bodies.
Can you see why we stay so hungry?
What if you took up my challenge today, for 1 minute or 1 meal or 1 day, to attune to what you are hungering for.
Maybe it's self-acceptance.
Yes, this is my body and it is here in this form in this life from all that I have been through. And it is good.
Maybe it's attunement to the reality you are not liking some part of your life and it's going to take bit to turn the ship AND a different body or a new meal plan isn't going to swallow up and make disappear the frustration and pain of that.
When you turn away from yourself, the attunement hunger grows and the ways you weren't turned towards in your past flame up.
So again, for 1 minute, 1 meal or 1 day, turn toward and love that self-criticism or non-allowance or over-burdening yourself that you have gentleness for in other people.
If you really want to have the peace with food and weight that you hunger for, loving what doesn't make sense to is your appointment.
If this stirred something in you, I'm here to see you go as far as you can go to satisfying your hunger: we can chat here for free at http://meetme.so/TracyBrown