For example, maybe you realized that restricting made you feel more powerful. My first questions would be, "Where in your life are you wanting/needing more power?" "What is happening that you feel powerless about?" Sometimes my clients know instantly. "Oh, I wanted to speak up to my ____ but didn't think they would listen or it would make a difference." And to that I would reply, "So how would restricting your food help them to know how you feel or help the words that you want to say come out?"
That information obviously needs to get feedback and problem solving with and from someone you trust, your therapist, etc. Because even though you are communicating your need to have some kind of affect in the world through showing that you can restrict what you need, it doesn't make that need go away or really get fulfilled. Or your truth be heard or understood. Even if you don't get the results you want, it still matters to YOU that what needs fulfilled or said gets done.
And the bottom line is that if you are looking for confidence and to attract connections to people, there is help out there to help you disconnect food as being the way you try to achieve the above.
(You noticed that I said the word "need" a lot, didn't you? That word used to make me cringe too. We will talk more about this later.....)
BTW, this is hard stuff and takes time and compassion to unwind. Don't give up. I am here and want to hear about your experiences and concerns. Please share this with those you think could use the help.