This post came from a moment of remembering my own struggling with food and weight and witnessing how clients have the same tape playing. The constant whisper of fear. My RD and coach trainees have the same fear, not about food or weight to a strong degree, but of being good enough. So my letter to us all is this:
We need to learn how to discern Lies and acknowledge and work with Fear.
Anything you hear that is against life is Conditioning. I’m not good enough is a lie. People care what and will judge what I eat and therefore I’m bad is a lie.
Everyone diets/worries about weight we might hear or notice. Yes, most people do have body image issues. Lombadimies used to be a way we treated mental illness not that many decades ago. Now we see that for the horror that it is.
Just because dieting is seen as normal doesn't mean it is healthy. Dieting is against life. Dieting bodies are fearful of death because it is not getting the fuel and satisfaction for full living. It seems wonderful at the beginning but whether it's 6 months or cycling with diets, binging or mi-attuned eating for 40 years the side effects of living on the fringes of our exsistence are high.
Let's talk about the lies.
Advertising that says you NEED to be smaller to be healthy or loveable or attractive is a lie. People that value that more than who you are or what your body can do for them or makes them feel are people that if you listen to that still small voice in youself, you can avoid. Listen to that, not the lies.
We have for generations been swimming in a Cesspool of lies that we’re not toned, lean, muscular, Proportioned enough. Throw away because we are not young anymore. Not moral or holy enough because of lack of perfection to the latest fad about eating. Not healthy and resistant to doctors orders to lose weight when our experiences have shown that human will does not result in permanent weight loss or if it does we live a lie of perceived health when in reality life is an sysaphian venture.
But of course that’s your fault right?
Wrong. Nothing is wrong with your body now or ever. Whatever your weight. Organ size. Age. Mobility, degree of health or pain level.
And of course I’m not saying that what we do or don’t do with our food, movement, connection, spirituality, doing our trauma healing and stress levels don’t matter.
It’s that we stay focused on what is life affirming that matters.
Restricting food is against life.
I’m not saying the food restriction where if you eat a peanut you die or get a rash. Or if you need to experiment with you food to hedge your bets with a medical condition.
What I am talking about is The fat equals I am unworthy lie. That austere eating elevates a person somehow above the rest, never to let fast food pass your lips so much as to cause the lie in one's head "I better eat vegetables tomorrow because I ate McDonald's today".
It’s a lie that we aren’t worthy to eat what we would like. Obviously, for maximum satisfaction and our bodies operating at the best of their ability at any given season in our lives, we want to listen to that “best match “ food or meal most of the time as we mature in the Intuitive Eating process. (We may need to eat once forbidden foods for a while which is normal )
And of Course, eating for pure pleasure and even to comfort ourselves is not a big deal with consciousness and non-judgment.
I’m not saying that emotional eating is the worst tool In the world for creating a sense of calm and relief. For many of us it was/is a life and psyche -saver.
However long term, it separates us from ourselves which actually leaves us hungry for free moments in life.
The more we can grow our window of tolerance of the uncomfortable of life, the more prepared we are to be separated from the pressure of believing what the majority of the world thinks: that your weight is any measure of who you are. That you are too much or don't deserve love or space to take up.
What I am so passionate about, really, is you knowing that The more you allow in, even a tiny speck of love and power that you aren’t your body is true , the actual confidence and faith and willingness to see and feel how life can be great free of worries about body and weight will begin to grow. You will begin to walk around with the veils falling from your eyes of how judging ourselves and each other is a collossal crime against what you are here for. I can't say what that is for you. For me it is not just helping you re-parent yourself to feel secure in life with yourself and food but the longer I do this work the more I see it: I am here to love by example and maybe inspire you to do that too.
So many blessings to you all,
PS: for any RDs, RD's to be or HAES oriented coaches out there desiring to walk by people with this level of passion, Non-Diet Counseling Skills training starts Feb 8th! More details here: www.tracybrownrd.com/non-diet-counseling-skills.html